OMO EKO CHRONICLES: EPISODE 2 - The Beginning
I grew up watching mothers as businesswomen and merchant traders accomplishing many feats in the same way others make it in the corporate world. I watched mothers take charge in the home front, being industrious and conquering wars in the market place just like in the boardroom. I watched mothers winning competitions to be the best and training their children to have good education which was no child’s play and which requires currency and currency has got to be earned especially through hard work, I noticed the role being independent played in these strings of successes. I am not ready to claim it went well for all of them but must say that it really helped in helping me project what life for me should be. Some women have taken this independent nature to be mean - modern day equality in marriage, which gives them the title of the de-facto head of the home.
We are called to be help meet, a helper, a helper comparable to the man, that does not imply inferiority but describes function rather than worth, a woman does not lose value as a person by humbly assuming the role of a helper, we are designed as the perfect counterpart for the man, the woman was neither inferior nor superior, but she was alike and equal to the man in her personhood while different and unique in her function.
While a spinster with enough resources, elegant lifestyle of independence and confidence, I kept making decisions without consulting with my fiancé, most of which the man was able to relate with, I felt since it would be my day and I would be the cynosure of all to behold, why bother to consider his decisions of opinions.
However, with his clamp down on my ‘perfect list, I decided to believe more in his capabilities, not that I ever doubted that as God has gifted men with great capacities for responsible leadership, but the act of taking charge, the independent nature has eaten deep into me, it was not at all an easy decision, but to avoid another friction which we’ve been having due to the fact that I’ve been becoming so feisty lately, I grudgingly decided to give in, and then I remember his words in that soothing matured way,“It’s not a contest, we are not competing with ourselves, It’s a facet of love which is friendship, with an emphasis on communicating and being close, sharing thoughts and feelings, and dreaming together”.
Heaving deeply and thinking aloud, it will be in our interest as women to stop assuming the role of the man in marriage, so will allow him a field-day express his authority as the oko iyawo(bridegroom) and pray he does not fail because I’m sure ready to scream, scratch and bite, thank heavens my old man has told him to really keep calm and be patient with me for I am one hell of a lady…………..which is a story for another day.
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